Monday 4 May 2015

Penyesalan

hingga akhirnya ketika cintamu karam, begitu pula diriku
yang berusaha menarik kembali cintamu ke atas permukaan 
seperti mercusuar yang tegak berdiri di ujung teluk
yang mencari sisa-sisa cinta yang remuk dilahap lautan
.
.
.
memang, penyesalan akan selalu datang di akhir. 
sudah terlambat semuanya.
andai waktu bisa diputarbalikkan semudah membalikkan telapak tangan.

apakah ada satu kesempatan lagi agar kita bisa mengulang semuanya dari awal?
satu kesempatan lagi,
aku berjanji tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan fatal yang sama,
yang sangat menggangu pikiranku hingga nyaris kehilangan nyawa.

satu kesempatan lagi,
entah dalam waktu dekat atau di masa yang akan datang,
saat masing-masing dari kami sudah bertumbuh dewasa

jika satu detik kedepan adalah misteri,
begitu juga hari esok.
satu kesempatan lagi,
mungkin hanya angan-angan belaka.
.
.
.
ketika mentari terbenam di ufuk barat, masih adakah cintamu yang tersisa?
penyesalan datang terlambat, aku tahu itu.
namun masih adakah sisa-sisa cintamu
yang telah remuk dilahap lautan?

Friday 1 May 2015

The End (Will Never Be The Same Again)

let's talk this over,
its not like we're dead
was it something i did?
was it something you said?
don't leave me hanging,
in a night so dead.
held up so high
on such a breakable thread

you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be something.

its nice to know that you were there
thanks for acting like you cared
and made me feel like i was the only one.
its nice to know we had it all
thanks for watching as i fall
and letting me know that we were done.

goodbye, sunshine.
take care,
good luck on whatever happens in your life,
just for you know i loved you so.

no, it doesn't hurts anymore
just feel like something has missing.
time heals, really.

eventhough i knew this will happen,
i was never ready to face it.


Monday 13 April 2015

Sad Words

fuck you for all sweet nothings you said
when we just met
and you gave me false hope
that you loved me
but now
you get tired of me 
first

Monday 6 April 2015

random thoughts #5: poem

Patience (by Lang Leav)

Patience and Love agreed to meet at a set time and place; beneath the twenty-third tree in the olive orchard. Patience arrived promptly and waited. She checked her watch every so often but still, there was no sign of Love.

Was it the twenty-third tree or the fifty-sixth? She wondered and decided to check, just in case. As she made her way over to the fifty-sixth tree, Love arrived at twenty-three, where Patience was noticeably absent.

Love waited and waited before deciding he must have the wrong tree and perhaps it was another where they supposed to meet.

Meanwhile, Patience had arrived at the fifty-sixth tree, where Love was still nowhere to be seen.

Both begin to drift aimlessly around the olive orchard, almost meeting but never do.

Finally, Patience, who was feeling lost and resigned, found herself beneath the same tree where she began. She stood there for barely a minute when there was a tap on her shoulder. 

It was Love.

........................................................................

"Where are you?" She asked. "I have been searching all my life." "Stop looking for me," Love replied, "and I will find you."

Thursday 26 March 2015

random thoughts #4: gloomy edition

Even though you are my whole godforsaken sky,
the strings to my guitar,
the lens to the camera,
the shoelace to the shoes,
your heart is still falling for another.

even if i put every single of your happiness above mine,
even if i have some problems to deal with, i still listened to your problems and tried my best to gave you some solution.
even if my heart was torn to pieces, i still fall for you.

i know those things are stupid, but i dont wanna lose you.
maybe in the next 5 years i will look back at this post and laugh to myself about my silly yet stupid things ive done to a guy.

i dont want to make 'i love you' words to be meaningless,
so instead i would say i care(d) for you.
i care, i do.

the reason i still care for you, even though i know your heart is still for another, is because i didnt wanna lose you.
im afraid that you will leave one day
and im not ready for that

Sunday 8 March 2015

random thoughts #3: night edition

here i am, writing some storyline i got from wattpad that got me like 'damn. this is so me.'

  • We are two stars that are meant to collide and destroy, and I know that even now. We are lines - going in two different directions - that are meant to cross and never meet again. We are not meant to be and I hope you understand that I am not okay with that. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)
  • "Just." She said, and he opened his eyes. "I have a thousand words for you. And I'm unable to say a single one of them when I'm around you." (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)
  •  There is a part of me that knows this is temporary. Fleeting. He will leave one day - and the terrifying part is that this doesn't make me want to run from him. It only makes me want to hold on thighter. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)
  •  Most people are lit matches. You're the goddamn morning sun. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)
  •  He was a whirlwind of emotions. The mos beautiful thing to walk the earth. He was a universe all on his own, and I am so grateful to have fallen into his gravity. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)
  •  And I could say that I have to let you go, because fuck, I have to, but I can't. I can't let you go. I want to hold onto you like you are lifeboat and I'm drowning. I will always want to. I love you. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)


It was a collision: colossal and magnificent and wonderful, crashing to fast, too much, yet she craved it like her fingers were scrabbling for something to hold onto into the storm. It was a storm. He was, she meant.

sometimes she
couldn't breathe because
the thoght of him
was like
where stars
collide.
(Where Stars Collide)

----------------

"I need you inside my veins" she whispered. (Where Stars Collide)

----------------

you are a poem with two feet

and i just want to

write you
(Breaths)

Saturday 28 February 2015

random thoughts #2: night edition

Saturday, February 28th 2015

i thought what we had was special.
i really miss those days when i woke up at 3 am everyday just to talked to you.
i miss those days when you used to called me.
i miss your voice.
and maybe,
tonight will be the first night i cry over you.