random thoughts #4: gloomy edition

Even though you are my whole godforsaken sky,

the strings to my guitar,

the lens to the camera,

the shoelace to the shoes,

your heart is still falling for another.

even if i put every single of your happiness above mine,

even if i have some problems to deal with, i still listened to your problems and tried my best to gave you some solution.

even if my heart was torn to pieces, i still fall for you.

i know those things are stupid, but i dont wanna lose you.

maybe in the next 5 years i will look back at this post and laugh to myself about my silly yet stupid things ive done to a guy.

i dont want to make 'i love you' words to be meaningless,

so instead i would say i care(d) for you.

i care, i do.

the reason i still care for you, even though i know your heart is still for another, is because i didnt wanna lose you.

im afraid that you will leave one day

and im not ready for that

random thoughts #3: night edition

here i am, writing some storyline i got from wattpad that got me like 'damn. this is so me.'

• We are two stars that are meant to collide and destroy, and I know that even now. We are lines - going in two different directions - that are meant to cross and never meet again. We are not meant to be and I hope you understand that I am not okay with that. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)

• "Just." She said, and he opened his eyes. "I have a thousand words for you. And I'm unable to say a single one of them when I'm around you." (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)

•  There is a part of me that knows this is temporary. Fleeting. He will leave one day - and the terrifying part is that this doesn't make me want to run from him. It only makes me want to hold on thighter. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)

•  Most people are lit matches. You're the goddamn morning sun. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)

•  He was a whirlwind of emotions. The mos beautiful thing to walk the earth. He was a universe all on his own, and I am so grateful to have fallen into his gravity. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)

•  And I could say that I have to let you go, because fuck, I have to, but I can't. I can't let you go. I want to hold onto you like you are lifeboat and I'm drowning. I will always want to. I love you. (The Misfortunes Of Lolita)

It was a collision: colossal and magnificent and wonderful, crashing to fast, too much, yet she craved it like her fingers were scrabbling for something to hold onto into the storm. It was a storm. He was, she meant.

sometimes she
couldn't breathe because
the thoght of him
was like
where stars
collide.
(Where Stars Collide)

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"I need you inside my veins" she whispered. (Where Stars Collide)

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you are a poem with two feet

and i just want to

write you
(Breaths)